others' take on self's ego

"...other persons never see the world from my perspective, and in witnessing the other's objective grasp of my body, actions and words, i am always face with an experience of myself different from that one i have... i do not always know what i mean, need, want, desire, because meanings, needs, and desires do not arise from an origin in some transparent ego. often i express my desire in gesture or tone of voice, without meaning to do so. consciousness, speech, expressiveness, are possible only if the subject always surpasses itself, and is thus necessarily unable to comprehend itself. subjects all have multiple desires that do not cohere, they attach layers of meanings to objects without always being aware of each layer or the connections between them. consequently, any individual subject is a play of difference that cannot be completely comprehended." - iris marion young's city life and difference